Learning From the Lessons of Life
By Rev. Marilyn L. Redmond, BA. ABH. IBRT
I. have learned
there are no mistakes in life. It was all planned before I came for my
spiritual growth. This was a surprise to me that I wrote a script that included
my parents, friends and situations I needed in this lifetime for my spiritual
growth. Since I asked the people to play those parts, I could no longer blame them
for my problems in life. Their lives were difficult to play those parts for me
These lessons are
carefully determined with the help of my guides in spirit for my return for
another opportunity to align with the universe and resolve them in responding with
loving solutions. Some people call this karma. It is necessary to release the
negativity of my past actions to bring balance into my life. The predicaments
were mainly from prior times that needed to be resolved so I could move forward
into a higher consciousness. The past could no longer keep me stuck in the old
problems. Only with resolving them can I grow beyond them. Learning to accept
that reality and no longer be in denial is the lesson. This allows me to move
out of what felt like hell. I was ready to move up into grace and change my
ways and heart to bring peace into my life.
2. The challenges
in life are to be met with loving solutions. I realized that reacting from fear
and resistance to life challenges kept me in a state of being childish. Responding
in loving ways is adulthood. It can be called taking the high road. This keeps
me in reality and promotes my maturity. I had to find kind ways to resolve the
issues to move beyond and out of my old mind set. In finding caring responses
to the predicaments, I felt the old distressing feelings dissolve. It was in
not resolving the situations in an appropriate way that kept me in and anguish.
I had to allow life to happen and learn from the experiences.
3. Live in the
moment that is why it is called <strong>The Present</strong>. As I
did not know I was not in reality, but reliving the past repeatedly, I found my
history was repeating itself. Some call doing the same thing repeatedly
expecting different results insanity. I did not know from my growing up you
could change your thinking to work for you. By my mental frame of mind still
reacting to past situations or worries about the future, I was not living in
reality. Reality is right now not the past or the future. When I am in the
"Now" which is listening to my instincts, then I am in reality.
4. For me learning
to be open-minded and opening my heart is a challenge. Since I did not grow up
in a functioning family, I did not have an open heart or an open mind. Keeping
me safe was closing my heart down and not opening it as it would be hurt again.
The opening of my heart to feel the good/God within has been a long process. It
was extremely closed keeping me in survival. The many walls around my heart
kept me out of goodness, reality, and enjoying life. Finally, my feelings are
flowing more and I have experienced joy, finally. My old thinking was that if
the people around me were happy, I could be too. This is a form of
co-dependency. Since they were depressed, they did not allow me to be happy. I
found a quote by Abraham Lincoln that said, "Most people are about as
happy as they make up their minds to be." this gave me permission to be
happy even if people around mw were not. I did not have to carry their
unhappiness. When I love myself, I can allow others to have their feelings
whatever they may be and that will not affect me. I am happy just being
me.
6. Nothing outside
myself can save me or give me peace. It is an inside job. My parents were
mentally ill and never mature themselves to love themselves. Finally, I
discovered life is an inside job. I had to save myself. In changing my fear
into love and opening my heart, I found I did not need to be saved, I was born
in the love of my Creator and always was loved.. This brought a completely new
inner security. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. The feelings of abandonment left.
7. Safety is the
complete relinquishment of attack. This was a difficult lesson for me as being
raised in domestic violence and having a marriage of domestic violence. I never
felt safe. I always was defending myself trying to stay safe. After years of
growing into reality, I realized that my being emotionally defensive felt like
an attack on my husband on a subconscious level and he retaliated in a physical
attack on me. It was a passive aggressive interaction. My unconscious
defensiveness felt like an attack to him; it was not visible. He retaliated in
a visible response. I had to move into feeling safe and pray for him.
"Father forgive him for he knows not what he does" We were both two
little neglected and abused kids trying to make it in an adult world without
any clue how to do it. Sending love stopped the game.
8. To heal is to be
happy. Learning I could make me happy, I began to grow up and not act or react
from my old insecurity, abuse, or fear. Free from my past trauma, being in the
present, and being aware of what presently was transpiring made me available to
feel happy. I had to release all my history to feel cheerful. The stress had
stopped my feeling happy. The more I relaxed, the easier it became to
experience those joyful feelings that I always wanted.
9. Love waits on
welcome, not on time. Learning to pray and be thankful for the good events,
feelings, and my needs being met, allowed me to feel the love and goodness that
is my inheritance. I did not know in the past, that I could invite God into my
life and He was waiting for me to request his love to open in my heart. Knowing
to be honest, open-minded, and willing to open my heart to feel the love was a
new idea. He never left me; I just had not invited him in with gratitude and
being thankful for all my blessings.
10. All forgiveness
is a gift to yourself. I did not know the word forgiveness. That I could
forgive others was a new idea to me. The past can leave and not be a trigger
for unhappy feelings, guilt, shame, or fear. I did not have to walk in that
stupor anymore. I could allow it to leave for the light of God to replace the
darkness. Then I still had to forgive myself. That I wrote such a difficult
script for my spiritual growth was a difficult pill to swallow and accept. I
have to accept each of the situations as my experience into maturity.
<em>I pray I am sorry, I forgive you, I thank you, and I love
you</em>, for those in my life and for myself.
I asked those people to play the part necessary for me to mature past the
childlike past. They agreed to do it. They played their parts for me to find
forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion for them that were helping me to grow
up. When a person gives up their life for another that is love. Those people
loved me; I thought they had harmed me. Just as Shakespeare said, “All the
world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. The steps to move
into a new life are explained in detail in my book, "Paradigm
Busters" at Amazon.
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